So I don't seem to feel too well.
I'm sore from baseball practice and I'm not enjoying my new team at all. Not to mention, I have a game this Wednesday. To make matters worse, it maybe against my Ex's team. (tip for watchers; NEVER MIX YOU LOVE LIFE WITH YOUR SPORT
) I hate baseball at the moment, I'm not comfortable with my team, they act like fools. Not only that, I'm not that good in baseball as I used to be...
I get devastated when I fuck up in the field...it just...ugh!
Not only is that bugging me, school starts tomorrow...not at all excited for that. Honestly, I don't know how I got through this year, so much shit happened that dragged me down. I had so many thoughts on dropping out. Literally. I just don't want to deal with school...I'm positive this sounds stupid to others, especially to hear it from a Freshmen. But I frankly don't care.
Mum asked what I wanted to study, problem with that is that what ever I told her I wanted to study, she told me "You can't make money like that". Everything I like and love I can't do. Artist, it's hard, especially if you suck, can't go on commishes if you can't draw. Special Effects Artist, barely any jobs, big pays but it's like two or three small jobs a year. Baseball? Pshhh, women can't play MLB, we have to stick to "Softball". I'm no fan of Softball but I mean c'mon, if the guys wanted us to just play that then tell them to fuck off and stay in baseball. Shit women have no sport to themselves. Least that I know of...
I understand at this point I'm ranting...but whatever, I'm just...not feeling well. Dizzy, sore and a headache.
God, in reading this over, I'm such a fucking pessimist.